Problems or challenges
The
Creative response to conflict is about turning problems into possibilities. It
is about consciously choosing to see what can be done, rather than staying with
how terrible it all is. It is affirming that you will choose to extract the
best form the situation.
Our
attitudes colour our thoughts. Usually we are quite unaware of how they shape
the way we see the world. Two dramatically contrasting attitudes in life are
"Perfection" versus "Discovery". Let's call them attitude
"hats". What "hat" do you get dressed in each day? Do you
see difficulties as problems or as challenges?
The
Perfection hat says: "Is this good enough or not?" (Usually not!)
"Does this meet my impeccably high standards?"
The Discovery hat says: "How
fascinating! What are the possibilities here?"
What is our mind chattering about under our
Perfection hat?
•
Right or wrong?
•
Do I measure up?
•
Life is struggle.
•
Mistakes are unacceptable.
•
Judgement.
•
Unbendable beliefs about what's
proper.
•
Failure!!
•
Do you measure up?
•
Life is hard work.
•
I have to be right.
•
Blame.
•
Don't take any chances
Low self-esteem!
The search for Perfection sets
up: "Winners - & - Losers".
Such
yardsticks can be used to make decisions about traffic jams, your partner, the
kids, the photostat machine, the boss and - above all - you.
Is there a Discovery hat still sitting on
the shelf in your wardrobe of possibilities? You may hardly have worn it since
you were a young child. When you learnt to walk you didn't go "right
foot", "wrong foot". It was just right foot, left foot, and each
fall was as interesting as the next step. To the young child, everything is
part of the great experiment.
You can
get out that hat again and dust it off. What's tucked away underneath your
Discovery hat?
•
Exploration
•
Enthusiasm
•
Let's take a risk
•
What are the possibilities?
•
Everything's a success
•
Acceptance
•
Play
•
Inquiry
•
Experiment
•
How else can we look at this?
High self-esteem!
The process of Discovery
invites: "Winners - & - Learners".
If
there are no failures, only learning, self-esteem gets a big boost upwards. You
can put on your Discovery hat and problems look like intriguing crossword
puzzles. "What will make the difference so he stops complaining to me all
the time?", "What else can I try to get the kids to help with washing
up?", "What are we freed up to do now that $7 million order has just
been cancelled?", "How fascinating, the photostat machine has broken
down again!"
The process of Discovery
invites: "Another Challenge? How Fascinating!"
Errors
can be regarded as splendid opportunities for learning. We are at our
most energised as we stand ready to act on the edge of our personal unknowns.
But that means we're going to make some mistakes. To tap the benefits of
initiative, we really need to play down our judgement and criticism. Of
course, we need to acknowledge errors and go through a correcting process. But
when we move to discovery mode, we're not overly cautious about making mistakes
and we don't make other people too cautious to act resourcefully by being
overly critical. When an organisation encourages the willingness to risk in its
employees, it gets an alive and motivated staff.
A
not-so-famous but should be maxim: "If a thing's worth doing, it's
worth doing badly!" is an invitation to experiment and risk.
Robert
Kyosaki in his "Money and You" workshops often relates the very
telling story of the IBM company in the States. One middle executive there made
a tactical error that cost the company $9 million. The following week the
executive, sure he was about to be fired, was called into the office of the
Chairman. The Chairman started discussing plans for a huge new projet that he
wanted the executive to direct. After a certain point, the executive was
feeling so uncomfortable he had to stop the Chairman: "Excuse me, sir, you
know I'm amazed. Last week I cost us $9 million. Why are you putting me in
charge of this new project? I thought you were going to fire me." The
Chairman smiled. "Fire you? Young man, I've just invested $9 million
educating you. You're now one of my most valuable assets." Here was a
chairman who valued the willingness to risk and learn. He knew it was an
essential ingredient in the successful executive.
Life is
not about winning and losing - it's about learning. When you fall down, you
pick yourself up and note where the pot-hole was so you can walk around it the
next time. A person who has gone "too far" knows just how far they
can go. No "winners - and - losers", just "winners - and -
learners".
That's the essence.
Ah, Conflict!
What an Opportunity!.
Retrieved from: http://www.crnhq.org/
No comments:
Post a Comment